Sunday, January 10, 2010

A New Year with New Challenges

January 1st, 2010

I have to admit, I brought in the New Year with tears. I don’t know why this adjustment has been so hard for me. It is not that I don’t like being here. The people I have met are great. I like getting lots of walking exercise and exploring. Trying new food sounds exciting.

But I miss the familiarity of home. I miss being able to be surprised by a phone call or instant message from someone. It all started with Jeff asking why I really want internet at our house. We can go over to our school everyday and we have free internet there. So is it really that big of a deal to also have it here in our home. I don’t know why this is such a tough issue for me to let go of. I had ideas of hearing the Skype phone call and being surprised that someone had reached us. Maybe they were awake in the middle of the night and knew we would be up. Or after I am home with our new baby, getting on and talking to people from my bed, letting them see our new baby. Or even keeping up with your blogs and emails so I know what is going on with my friends and family back home. Not that I cannot do that from school once a day, and plan times to Skype people from there. I guess the ability to be connected to the world any time I want was much more deeply imbedded than I realized. I feel like Jeff was surgically removing it from me and it hurts. I believe he has good reasons and it will be good for our family on different levels. But why is it so hard for me? I don’t know. It was not one of the things I expected to have to give up this year.


Christine H. said...

Hi Heidi,
I think your last sentence may be the reason you're having a hard time with it. The fact that you didn't expect to not have internet. I expect so much in life and unmet expectations suck. But you are so good at going with the flow. Much better than me. However, sometimes you may not want to go with the flow. I'm just typing as I think (like I would be talking to you). Anyway, all that aside, I will pray for you because this is as much an important prayer request as the rest. I love you!

Christine H. said...

P.S. Google won't let me check the "email follow up comments" box the first time I send a comment, so that's why I always send two comments, so I can check the box the 2nd time. : ) Technology!

hestermom said...

Heidi, I think all of us mommas understand. You have such a sweet spirit. This post made me feel like I was sitting right with you, wishing I could pray with you and hug you. You are a dear sister in Christ, and I will pray for you as well. I don't think any of us realize how wrapped up we are in our comforts, until they are no longer there. It is a very hard thing to be in a new keep in touch with us all as best as you can, and we will pray!!!

ATSmith said...

Keep posting. We are reading and thinking of you!